Dear Mommy and Daddy,
I know you’re wondering how I’ll celebrate my 3rd birthday in heaven. I know you’re missing me most today. I feel your essence near.
God planned a special day for me. He told me with a wink. He’d ordered me a special cake (It’s Angel food, I think)
I’m getting lots of hugs from God. He’s really good at that...And every time that I walk by, He gives my head a pat.
Heaven will be filled with balloons or me. They float up through the clouds...And we have lots of clowns up here. That make us laugh out loud.
There is a birthday carousel, jeweled horses ride the wind with music playing oh so sweet…the magic never ends
I’ve made so many friends, you see. We laugh and play and sing. We ride our bikes and play jump rope...and sleep in Angel’s wings.
We’ll have our cake and ice cream, and open gifts, surprise! But we don’t blow out our candles here...Instead, they light the skies.
November 15, 2010
Heavenly Celebration
November 14, 2010
Love Letters to Heaven
We will be sending our "Love Letters to Heaven" via balloon release tomorrow for Baby Joshua's 3rd Heavenly Birthday. We love you and miss you baby!
"Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to Joshua, happy birthday to me!"
In my mind, I imagine Joshua whispering these words as he gets ready to head to our Lord's heavenly home to celebrate his third heavenly birthday. I can only imagine what God has prepared for my Joshua's birthday. I am sure He has planned a huge party for Joshua in heaven. All the angels and heavenly babies will be there.
As Joshua separates the clouds with his two tiny hands, so he can see the balloons we are sending his way...he sees the tear drops falling on our faces. Joshua ask God, "Why are they crying on my birthday, Jesus? This is a happy day for me!" God takes Joshua's hand and tells him, "Your family misses you very much. Do not worry little one. They will be okay. When it's their time, I will call them home, so that you can all be together again. They love you so much little one!"
November 5, 2010
A Mother's Prayer
God has entrusted me with the most precious gifts...my children. A mother's love means a life of devotion and sometimes a life of sacrifice. Every mother prays for her children's safety and that they will grow up healthy and strong. A mother's love is never ending!
I wanted to share this beautiful song to inspire all mothers to pray over their children and to thank God for the privileged He has given us of becoming mothers.
Click on the title of the song to listen to this beautiful music.
I dedicate this song to my beautiful children, Brianna, Joseph, and Joshua. I love you with all my heart.
"A Mother’s Prayer (HANNAH'S SONG)"
by Rachel Aldous
My sweet baby on loan from above.
No better treasure could I more love.
I stand here beside your bed as I pray
I lay my hand on your head and I say:
May you grow up to serve Him all of your days.
May He lead you and guide you in all of your ways.
May His hand bless your future with friendships that last.
May you cherish your youth and not grow up too fast
I stare in wonder at your tiny frame.
Just to think that God knows you by name.
He knows every hair on your beautiful head.
He knows your thoughts before they are said.
May you grow up to serve Him all of your days
May He lead you and guide you in all of your ways.
May His Hand bless your future with friendships that last.
May you cherish your youth and not grow up too fast.
Prayer:
May God grant you peace in the midst of a storm.
May God give you strength even when you’re forlorn.
May you answer the door when Jesus comes knocking.
May wisdom guide when your mouth is talking.
May discretion protect you and keep you pure.
May you never stumble or fall for a lure.
May your heart remain humble to the very end.
May uprightness and truth be what you defend.
May the world not ensnare or change who you are.
May the light that's within you shine like the stars.
May angels surround you body, spirit, mind.
May favor and peace be yours to find.
May rejection and pain never reach you.
May your spirit grow bold for what you’re called to.
As you rest in God’s care I will rest, too.
Knowing that Jesus is watching over you.
Amen
I love you, Mommy…
I wanted to share this beautiful song to inspire all mothers to pray over their children and to thank God for the privileged He has given us of becoming mothers.
Click on the title of the song to listen to this beautiful music.
I dedicate this song to my beautiful children, Brianna, Joseph, and Joshua. I love you with all my heart.
"A Mother’s Prayer (HANNAH'S SONG)"
by Rachel Aldous
My sweet baby on loan from above.
No better treasure could I more love.
I stand here beside your bed as I pray
I lay my hand on your head and I say:
May you grow up to serve Him all of your days.
May He lead you and guide you in all of your ways.
May His hand bless your future with friendships that last.
May you cherish your youth and not grow up too fast
I stare in wonder at your tiny frame.
Just to think that God knows you by name.
He knows every hair on your beautiful head.
He knows your thoughts before they are said.
May you grow up to serve Him all of your days
May He lead you and guide you in all of your ways.
May His Hand bless your future with friendships that last.
May you cherish your youth and not grow up too fast.
Prayer:
May God grant you peace in the midst of a storm.
May God give you strength even when you’re forlorn.
May you answer the door when Jesus comes knocking.
May wisdom guide when your mouth is talking.
May discretion protect you and keep you pure.
May you never stumble or fall for a lure.
May your heart remain humble to the very end.
May uprightness and truth be what you defend.
May the world not ensnare or change who you are.
May the light that's within you shine like the stars.
May angels surround you body, spirit, mind.
May favor and peace be yours to find.
May rejection and pain never reach you.
May your spirit grow bold for what you’re called to.
As you rest in God’s care I will rest, too.
Knowing that Jesus is watching over you.
Amen
I love you, Mommy…
November 1, 2010
Time Passing By
"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief... and unspeakable love.” - Washington Irving
I haven't posted in months...honestly I haven't had the time, nor anything in particular to write about. And, since not many read my postings here, I haven't felt as though my dribble would be missed.
Life is heavier than I would like it to be. I find myself overwhelmed by the many roles that I must play on a daily basis. Lately, I don’t have much energy or motivation to do much these days. I had hand surgery 3 weeks ago, and it’s been difficult for me to do just about anything. The stitches finally came out 3 days ago, and while my hand is still recovering, I felt the need to write and release some of the feeling that I have been bottling up inside, even if I have to type with one hand.
It’s been a month since we last visited Joshua’s grave. I’m not sure why I stayed away for so long. We usually visit him every week, but for some unspoken reason, I stayed away…not because I don’t miss him. On the contrary…it’s because I have missed him so much, that being there by his grave side only made me miss him more.
They say time heals all wounds, but I believe that time doesn’t heal anything…time simply passes. It is what we do with our lives while time is passing that either helps us, heals us or keeps us stuck. Don’t get me wrong. It will be almost 3 years since Joshua’s birth and death, and it still doesn't get easier. My heart will always be filled with wonders of what it would have been like to have him here with us. It will always long for my son who is not in my arms. Our lives will never be fully complete without him.
I am amazed at how time can both simultaneously fly by and crawl by at the same time. It’s as if it was only yesterday, when I was pregnant with Joshua…when I gave birth to him and held him in my arms for the first and last time. Yet at the same time, it feels like forever since I last saw his angelic face. There is so much that I very clearly remember about this day three years go; and yet other details are starting to become blurry, despite my best effort to remember everything. Has it really been almost three years?
I’ve asked myself how will we celebrate Joshua’s 3rd birthday this year? It's a strange thing to figure out how to celebrate the third birthday of your child who is no longer here. I am not sure I will ever feel celebratory on November 15th... bittersweet seems to be more accurate. The bitter reality that Joshua is no longer here, and yet a I carry with me sweet memories of being privileged enough to have been chosen as him mom.
While life remains good, I continue to remind myself to live one day at a time and to put one foot in front of the other. My husband and I are so thankful for Brianna and Joseph…it is because of them that we are forced to live "in the moment" and kept us laughing on the most difficult of days. Our God is so good and even in the midst of our sadness it is so evident that He is working in our families lives. For now, I will continue to ask God to lift my head from the clouds that I find myself in at time. I am faithful that He will, because I know He won't give me more than I can handle, even though it doesn't always feel that way.
I haven't posted in months...honestly I haven't had the time, nor anything in particular to write about. And, since not many read my postings here, I haven't felt as though my dribble would be missed.
Life is heavier than I would like it to be. I find myself overwhelmed by the many roles that I must play on a daily basis. Lately, I don’t have much energy or motivation to do much these days. I had hand surgery 3 weeks ago, and it’s been difficult for me to do just about anything. The stitches finally came out 3 days ago, and while my hand is still recovering, I felt the need to write and release some of the feeling that I have been bottling up inside, even if I have to type with one hand.
It’s been a month since we last visited Joshua’s grave. I’m not sure why I stayed away for so long. We usually visit him every week, but for some unspoken reason, I stayed away…not because I don’t miss him. On the contrary…it’s because I have missed him so much, that being there by his grave side only made me miss him more.
They say time heals all wounds, but I believe that time doesn’t heal anything…time simply passes. It is what we do with our lives while time is passing that either helps us, heals us or keeps us stuck. Don’t get me wrong. It will be almost 3 years since Joshua’s birth and death, and it still doesn't get easier. My heart will always be filled with wonders of what it would have been like to have him here with us. It will always long for my son who is not in my arms. Our lives will never be fully complete without him.
I am amazed at how time can both simultaneously fly by and crawl by at the same time. It’s as if it was only yesterday, when I was pregnant with Joshua…when I gave birth to him and held him in my arms for the first and last time. Yet at the same time, it feels like forever since I last saw his angelic face. There is so much that I very clearly remember about this day three years go; and yet other details are starting to become blurry, despite my best effort to remember everything. Has it really been almost three years?
I’ve asked myself how will we celebrate Joshua’s 3rd birthday this year? It's a strange thing to figure out how to celebrate the third birthday of your child who is no longer here. I am not sure I will ever feel celebratory on November 15th... bittersweet seems to be more accurate. The bitter reality that Joshua is no longer here, and yet a I carry with me sweet memories of being privileged enough to have been chosen as him mom.
While life remains good, I continue to remind myself to live one day at a time and to put one foot in front of the other. My husband and I are so thankful for Brianna and Joseph…it is because of them that we are forced to live "in the moment" and kept us laughing on the most difficult of days. Our God is so good and even in the midst of our sadness it is so evident that He is working in our families lives. For now, I will continue to ask God to lift my head from the clouds that I find myself in at time. I am faithful that He will, because I know He won't give me more than I can handle, even though it doesn't always feel that way.
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