Living Life...Catch up post

Life happens and sometimes there are not enough time in the day to finish everything on your "To-Do List!" Time to play catch up and update you guys on some of the memories and adventures we had thus far.

The kiddos are growing up so fast and we were running out of room in our old house, so hubby and I decided to sell our home and buy a bigger place last September 2014. The kids are happy to finally have their own space...and so are we! Peace and quite at last lol

This year, Brianna turned 13 and Joseph turned 12! I can't believe there's a teenager in our house! Check out my on air radio shoutout for Brianna on 104.3 MyFM MyFM Shoutout Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get on the radio for Joseph's birthday shoutout...hopefully when he turns 13, I'll get through so that he'll have an on air shoutout as well!

Summer vacation was a blast! We traveled to Riviera Maya and Cancun this year and stayed at El Cid Resort! My kids have always been fond of the water ever since they were little, and so they took advantage of every opportunity they had to be in the water during our trip! They swam in the resort pool, they swam inside an underground river at Xcaret, they swam in the river and lagoons at Xel-Ha, and they even swam with the dolphins! There was so much to see and so much to do, that a week in this beautiful place was not enough!

Riviera Maya: El Cid Resort

This year, we also started a new travel tradition...Tommy Trojan is our official traveling gnome! As you can probably guess from his name, we are big USC fans! Tommy certainly enjoyed himself during our trip and plans on hitch-hiking in our backpack again next year! :) 

Tommy Trojan...our new traveling companion

Last month, hubby's parents celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary! They renewed their vow and had a grand celebration! It was truly a blessing to be part of their bridal party and witness them renewing their love for each other! I can only pray that hubby and I will be blessed with that many year together!

50th Wedding Anniversary

The year is almost over...3 more months and before we know it, Christmas will be here! Stay tuned for more memories...

Hole in my heart...1 Year of Missing my Dad!

It's been a year since I have been on this journey of grief.  It's been filled with many emotional peaks and waves. There are days when I often find myself missing my Dad so very much. The sadness still comes along once in awhile, but the joy in the memories I have of him is so dear that it gently pushes aside the sadness. With me always are the wonderful memories we have together, and the way he helped to shape the woman I am today.

On the days when I am really missing him, I find that it helps me to write down my thoughts and feelings...releasing a flood of emotions to help me cope this intense pain that throbs inside my chest!

How do I remember my dad....Tall and proud. My dad was a big man (literally, he was about 6'2) with a thick head of wavy black hair, twinkling eyes, an infectious laugh, and had the deepest voice. To meet him was to like him instantly, since he was always so warm and accepting, very social, full of knowledge, and of course, a big joker. 

My earliest memories of my Dad are ones filled with the innocent wonder that only the young possess. He was like a king to me...this perfect, big man who could swoop me up in a bear hug so big and strong, I wouldn’t be able to see through his embrace. He was so big and strong and powerful, that I just assumed he was my own personal jungle gym and swing set. My favorite spots was usually on his lap or up on his shoulders. 

A typical Daddy’s Girl, my dad was my biggest ally and supporter! I could always depend on him to be there for me. I am thankful that God has blessed me with such a wonderful and loving father! 

Dear Dad, 

"Even though my heart aches, There's a smile on my face. Just like a window to heaven, There's a light shining through.

There's a hole in my heart and I'll carry it wherever I go...There's a hole in my heart in the shape of you!"

I love you and I miss you so much Dad! Give Baby Joshua a big hug and kiss for me! 

-Song: "The Shape of You" by Jewel

Culmination...where did the time go?

🎓Culmination Day...how quickly they grow up! Today, my lil' man culminated from 5th Grade. It seems like only yesterday, when he started pre-school and now he's off to middle school. Before I know it, it will be high school graduation and then college! 

Congratulations Jojo! Dad and I are so proud of you for culminating and receiving the President's Silver Academic Award for maintaining a 3.0-3.5 GPA! 

We know you'll continue to do great things! ❤️Always remember that we're rooting for you and that we love you very much!

Never Grow Up...Happy Birthday Brianna

To Our Little Girl Brianna...

Each year, your dad and I have the privilege of celebrating the day you came into our lives! We feel incredibly lucky to be your Mom & Dad! On your birthday, may God continue to guide you in your every step and ...may beauty and happiness surround you today and always. We hope you know how much we love you and that no matter how old you are, you will always be our little girl!

 

Happy 12th Birthday Brianna!

Butterflies in my stomach...

Urban Dictionary defines "Butterflies in my Stomach" as "An awesome feeling when someone you care about looks at you, stares at you or complements you; and you don't know what to do in that moment, except feel happy. It can be a physical feeling like a little tickle traveling up your stomach."

It's been 18 years, and to this day, hubby still gives me butterflies in my stomach! We recently took a trip to Key West together for the first time without the bubbas...and what a trip it was! Not only was it beautiful, it was an amazing experience. Being able to spend some time together, watching the beautiful sun set on the ocean cruise, and just enjoy each other's company, made me feel so happy to be able to have that special moment together. Not only did my heart skipped a beat at that moment in time, as he held my hand, but my stomach flipped and flopped, like butterflies were flying around inside me, and it felt as if we were in the beginning stages of our relationship! 

It was truly an unforgettable feeling and experience. I feel so blessed and lucky to have hubby and the kids in my life!

Goodbye 2013 & Hello 2014

December 31st...Today is New Year's Eve. The very last day of the year 2013. I am anticipating saying goodbye and leaving it behind with both regret and relief. Much like the year 2007, 2013 has provided me with some of the best and worst days and experiences of my life. It has been filled with lots of laughter, as well as tears! I can thank 2013 for the good health and safe protection that was given to my children Brianna and Joseph, my husband Jose, and everyone in our family. I am thankful for all the memories made and most of all, I am also thankful for my new nephew and birthday buddy Noah.  Despite being thankful for all the good memories that 2013 has brought, I am relieved to also say goodbye to the year 2013, for it has given me and my family this intense pain and grief of losing my father! For now I guess it's going to have to have to hurt. I'm going to have to let go of some things I loved, in order to get to the other side...sometimes moving on starts with goodbye! Although 2013 left me with another scar in my heart, it has also taught me how to be stronger again! As the New Year begins, I continue to thank the Lord for all the blessings and trials and pray that the new year will be a year filled with peace, love, happiness, and abundance of joy for all of us! Goodbye 2013 and Hello 2014!

Time passing by...

Seems like only yesterday when I held their little hands...time is passing by so quickly! How quickly they are growing up!

Growing up too fast...

They say time flies when your having fun! Yesterday, while shopping for groceries, Brianna found a box full of giant stuff animals! She immediately began rummaging through, trying to find her favorite animals...dinosaurs, wolves, and alligators! 

As she digs through the pile, I couldn't help but watch my pre-teen enjoy herself. Her child-like mentality was still so innocent! Then I began to realize that she is growing up right before my eyes. It seemed like only yesterday, when I vividly recall a little baby girl barely learning how to walk and talk, and now all of a sudden, here she is, growing up to be a young lady. Where did the time go? Before I know it, she'll be going to high school, and then college. I wanted to so desperately slow time down, and just cherish this moment...watching her still act like a child, with no cares in the world.

From a distance, I can hear her laughing as she piles her favorite ones on top of her. Then I hear her sweet voice say, "Mom...can I take them home with us?" We laugh and at that moment, this was an image and memory I wanted to capture forever...I snapped the picture not only in my memory, but also in digital, so that one day, when she is much older, we can reminisce on the fun we have.

After taking the picture, I am slowly pulled back into reality and realize that it was time to finish what we came there to do, and that playtime was now over. Hopefully, it won't be too long, until we have another moments like this! 

Brianna, please don't grow up too fast! Your dad and I still want to enjoy watching you grow! :)

The Broken Chain

 

The Broken Chain

 

We little knew that morning that 

God was going to call your name.

In life we loved you dearly, 

in death we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you,

You did not go alone;

 For God called you home.

You left us peaceful memories,

Your love is still our guide.

And though we cannot see you, 

You are always at our side. 

Our family chain is broken,

And nothing seems to be the same.

But as God calls us one by one,

The chain will link again.

                                                                 -By Ron Tanmer 

 

My first love...my dad!

Dear Dad,

You are the first man that I ever loved. You are my hero. Your arms were the first place where I felt safe and protected. 

Thank you for listening to me. Being able to share with you and show you my vulnerability has been so important for my development as a woman. You have known when to offer me advice and when to simply wipe my tears. 

Thank you for being a loving shoulder to cry on when my heart has gotten broken, and a hand to high five to celebrate when I achieve a dream. 

I will forever love you and miss you! Until we are reunited in heaven...

P.S. Please give baby Joshua big hug and kiss for me! 

In Memory of my Dad

In Loving Memory of my Dad

 Roberto B. Concepcion, Sr.

Born: October 9, 1946 @ 12:00pm

Manila Philippines

Died: August 16, 2013 @ 1:38am

Los Angeles, California

Internment:
Forest Lawn Memorial Parks: Hollywood Hills, California
Internment Information

"Today you will be with Me in Paradise!"

                              -Luke 23:43

When God saw you getting tired

And a cure was not to be

He put His arms around you

And whispered, "Come to Me."

He didn't like what you went through

And He gave you rest.

His garden must be beautiful

He only takes the best.

And when we saw you sleeping

So peaceful and free from pain

We wouldn't wish you back

To suffer that again

Today we say goodbye

And as you take your final rest

That garden must be beautiful 

Because you are one of the best!

Thorns of Love

I love this quote: "A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses." Loving someone is not always easy, but it's the struggles that you go through together that makes your relationship grow stronger.

Hubby and I will be celebrating our 11th Wedding Anniversary next month. The road we traveled together these past 15 years together hasn't been an easy one. It has been filled with happiness, love, heartaches, and pain, but despite it all, we've managed to stay together...not by our own grace, but because of God's continuing guidance and blessing on our marriage and family.

Lead Me...

This song is dedicated to my husband Jose...You are indispensable part of my life. I love you more than words can ever say.

"Lead Me"

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone"

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're in independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone"

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Thankfulness

Our thoughts create our reality -- where we put our focus, is the direction we tend to go.
~Peter McWilliams~

I am thankful for so many blessings in my life...my husband Jose, my children, Brianna and Joseph, family and friends, and our little angel in heaven, Joshua. I am also thankful for God's faithfulness and unconditional love. Despite any hardships and pain that comes my way, I can always find comfort and strength in knowing that He is with me every step of the way, and that I will always have my family in my life.


I recently celebrated my 35th birthday...Despite being in pain (due to a recent hand surgery I had), I found being with my family comforting. The laughter in the room of silly stories we were sharing, made me forget for a moment the throbbing in my hands. The sounds of children playing and laughing made every discomfort bearable.

It is during these blissful moments that I remember just how thankful I am that I have been blessed with good friends and a loving family.

What's Happening?

What's happening with us you asked? A lot! Particularly since it has been well over a three month since I last posted (yikes!)

Summer break has ended and the kids are back to school. Time sure flies...before we know it, it will be time to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Well, let see, a little update...thanks to my hubby, the kids and I took a three week vacation to the Philippines during their summer break, so we can spend some time with my parents, who, after years of hard work, finally retired last December 2010. They decided to spend their retirement years back in the Philippines, and who can blame them...a dollar goes a long way there. Our time there was spent mostly visiting other family members, shopping, and of course, more shopping. My parents also took us to a beautiful water park resort, Villa Alfredo, located in the the Province of Pampanga. My dad is good friend of the owner, so as you can imagine, we were treated like royalty upon our arrival. Despite the rain, the kids still had a blast swimming.


On another exciting note...we just celebrated my Nanay (grandmother) Jessie's 90th Birthday! Our family decided to throw her a surprise party, and boy, was she surprised. She was so touched to see all of us gathered together just for her, that tears of joy flowed from her eyes. It was truly a blessing to be able to spend and celebrate her birthday. Happy 90th Birthday Nanay! We love you very much.

Oh by the way, did I also mention that I am scheduled to have another hand surgery this month? It will probably be a while before I can post again.

So that's the latest on what's happening in a nutshell! It's been a busy summer and we are looking forward to some really exciting things that are coming up through the rest of 2011! Until then, take care and God bless.

Paradise Bound

Well, we did it! We finally took a real family vacation together. Destination...Paradise! For my hubby's 40th birthday, we decided to go to Hawaii. The kids were extremely excited and had so much fun! It was truly a memorable experience for all of us. We each had our favorite moments from all the adventures we had.

Where do I even begin? Let's see, there was definitely lots of swimming involved, snorkeling, boat ride, submarine ride, train ride around the pineapple plantation, and even some adventures with giant teddy bears!
One of our favorite adventures would have to be our visit to the Polynesian Center, where we were able to visit 7 different villages, as well as watch some great hula and fire dancing. The "Ha: Breath of Life" was spectacular.


Joseph said that his favorite was the submarine ride, where we went down 107 feet under the ocean to watch some sea turtles, sting rays, and tropical fish swim. Brianna's favorite was swimming at the beach and snorkeling. She she was able to get up close to see the different sea creatures swimming by. She's a natural sea baby :) There was so many fun activities that we did, and so many memories we made. We had a blast!


The beautiful island of Oahu was truly breathtaking. Every morning we were lucky enough to wake up and see the blue waters of the ocean from our lanai. We even ventured out, and drove around the island, where we found a beautiful beachfront park, with a view of another nearby island called "China Man's Hat." Here's a picture of me and hubby at Kualoa Park, in Laie.

We know this is just one of many travel adventures we will be taking together as a family, so stay tuned for more posts about upcoming future travel adventures. Until then, ALOHA!

Here Comes the Rain Again...

♪♫•*¨*•.¸Here comes the rain again...falling on my head like a memory. Falling on my head like a new emotion♪♫•*¨*•.¸

The always reminds me that "...Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain." Often times when the rain begins to fall, it brings a surge of emotions and memories my way. Memories of my wedding day when the rain kept falling and my mom had to use a big garden umbrella to shield me from getting wet. While everyone said that the rain was a blessing...a sign that God is pouring down his blessings on our marriage, all I can remember saying was, "Thank you Lord for pouring down your blessings on this marriage. Now please, make the rain stop, so I don't get wet!" From our house, all the way to the church, the rain kept falling. It was only after the church ceremony was done, when the rain subsided, and everything was wiped clean.

With this memory, you would think that I would associate the rain with happy memories...but sadly, the rain only makes me feel sad. I have heard of people suffering from S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Maybe that's what I have. I am self diagnosing my emotions (lol). My husband just laughs (not in a mean way of course), whenever the rain comes and I tell him I have S.A.D.

Today marks the first day of spring, and sure enough here comes the rain. While I try to remember that the rain washes away all things, and makes things clean again, it often makes me want to just stay in bed and sulk. For some reason, when I hear the pitter-patter of the raindrops falling from the sky, I often imagine going out in the rain and just crying my eyes out...maybe because the rain will wash away my tears. I have to remind myself that it can't rain forever and that if I want the rainbow to come out, I've got to put up with the rain.

Happy 9th Birthday to my Daughter BRIANNA

I am so grateful and thankful that I have you as a daughter. No matter how many birthdays may come and go, you'll always be my little girl. With each passing year, you grow sweeter and more beautiful than ever. I feel so blessed that God gave me a daughter like you and I am so very proud to have you as my daughter.

Thank you for being a wonderful daughter, and for giving me so many reasons to smile, Thanks for our on-the-go fun times together, and times we just talk and relax for a while. Thank you for the many hugs and kisses you give me everyday, and for always letting me know that you appreciate me...Most of all, thank you for showing me all through the years, that I'm the luckiest mommy there ever could be.

Happy 9th Birthday to my pride and joy.

New Year's Prayer

New Year's Resolutions...What’s yours? We all make them, right? I know I have, and it’s usually the same thing year after year. We want to be thinner, eat healthier, exercise more, spend less, save more, be a better wife and mother, and the list goes on. Tonight, I have spent some time reflecting on my life this past year and what I hope for the New Year. I can truly say that my family and I have been immensely blessed in 2010. We have had our struggles but God has brought us through each and every one of them.

These past few months, I have spent a lot of time praying for God to draw me nearer to Him. In the past several months I have had a deeper hunger and thirst for His Word and His presence. This New Year, it is my hope that I can use more of my time to glorify Him even more, because I really do want to give my whole life to Him, not in part, but the whole thing. My intention this year is to live with such intentionality that He can be seen in and through me. I pray that He will continue to give me an open heart so that I can go wherever He leads me, even when it doesn’t make any sense to me. "LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered-how fleeting my life is. Psalm 39:4

Going forward, I want to live my life focused more on God. I want my time here to reflect Him. I want my kids to see how amazing life is when He is given the trust and honor He so fully deserves. I want them to know the joy of giving to others unselfishly. I want them to know that God will always be there for them, and that He will provide for their needs.

I have a feeling that 2011 is going to hold some big things for our family. I am sure it will be a year of ups and downs, highs and lows, and grief and joys. But not matter what comes our way, I know He will be there every step of the way to guide us. I continue to pray that we are able to love even more, give even more, and seek Him in all we do.

I don't know if we will be thinner or if we will exercise more, (we’ll certainly try), but I know we are here and we are feeling a stirring in our hearts. He is calling and we are wrapping our minds around what it is He is asking and we continue to pray for His guidance. He isn't done with us yet.

May 2011 be a blessed year for all of us.

Time Passing By

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief... and unspeakable love.” - Washington Irving

I haven't posted in months...honestly I haven't had the time, nor anything in particular to write about. And, since not many read my postings here, I haven't felt as though my dribble would be missed.

Life is heavier than I would like it to be. I find myself overwhelmed by the many roles that I must play on a daily basis. Lately, I don’t have much energy or motivation to do much these days. I had hand surgery 3 weeks ago, and it’s been difficult for me to do just about anything. The stitches finally came out 3 days ago, and while my hand is still recovering, I felt the need to write and release some of the feeling that I have been bottling up inside, even if I have to type with one hand.


It’s been a month since we last visited Joshua’s grave. I’m not sure why I stayed away for so long. We usually visit him every week, but for some unspoken reason, I stayed away…not because I don’t miss him. On the contrary…it’s because I have missed him so much, that being there by his grave side only made me miss him more.

They say time heals all wounds, but I believe that time doesn’t heal anything…time simply passes. It is what we do with our lives while time is passing that either helps us, heals us or keeps us stuck. Don’t get me wrong. It will be almost 3 years since Joshua’s birth and death, and it still doesn't get easier. My heart will always be filled with wonders of what it would have been like to have him here with us. It will always long for my son who is not in my arms. Our lives will never be fully complete without him.

I am amazed at how time can both simultaneously fly by and crawl by at the same time. It’s as if it was only yesterday, when I was pregnant with Joshua…when I gave birth to him and held him in my arms for the first and last time. Yet at the same time, it feels like forever since I last saw his angelic face. There is so much that I very clearly remember about this day three years go; and yet other details are starting to become blurry, despite my best effort to remember everything. Has it really been almost three years? 


I’ve asked myself how will we celebrate Joshua’s 3rd birthday this year? It's a strange thing to figure out how to celebrate the third birthday of your child who is no longer here. I am not sure I will ever feel celebratory on November 15th... bittersweet seems to be more accurate. The bitter reality that Joshua is no longer here, and yet a I carry with me sweet memories of being privileged enough to have been chosen as him mom.

While life remains good, I continue to remind myself to live one day at a time and to put one foot in front of the other. My husband and I are so thankful for Brianna and Joseph…it is because of them that we are forced to live "in the moment" and kept us laughing on the most difficult of days. Our God is so good and even in the midst of our sadness it is so evident that He is working in our families lives. For now, I will continue to ask God to lift my head from the clouds that I find myself in at time. I am faithful that He will, because I know He won't give me more than I can handle, even though it doesn't always feel that way.