Never Grow Up...Happy Birthday Brianna

To Our Little Girl Brianna...

Each year, your dad and I have the privilege of celebrating the day you came into our lives! We feel incredibly lucky to be your Mom & Dad! On your birthday, may God continue to guide you in your every step and ...may beauty and happiness surround you today and always. We hope you know how much we love you and that no matter how old you are, you will always be our little girl!

 

Happy 12th Birthday Brianna!

Joshua's 6th Heavenly Birthday

It has been six years...six painful years since I held my son Joshua for the first and last time. I often look back and to this day, I can still see it all so clearly...I can still feel the heartaches I felt of losing him. How I miss him so much! 

Today, as Joshua celebrates his 6th birthday in heaven with our Lord and with my dad, I can only imagine how beautiful and glorious it must be. I am sure Joshua is thrilled that his Lolo Bert is finally with him so they can celebrate together. How I wish, if only in my dreams tonight, I could get a glimps of just how wonderful and happy they must be celebrating Joshua's 6th Heavenly Birthday! I imagine my dad, with his big deep voice, singing the birthday song to Josh, as the angels gather around and join him in chorus! I know Joshua's heart is full of joy, as he listens to his Lolo sing to him. 

Forever and always, my heart will be full of grief of not having my son with me. Our family will never be complete until we are all reunited together in Heaven! 

For now, I must be content with sending my love, my hugs, my kisses, and my birthday greetings to my son Joshua through letters to Heaven.

Happy 6th Heavenly Birthday Joshua! 

We love you and miss you with all our hearts! Give your Lolo Bert a big hug and kiss from us and let him know how much we miss him too!

 

A Mother's Love (Author Unknown)

I didn't have to look into your eyes 

to fall in love with you. 

I didn't have to hear you cry 

To know you loved me too. 

I didn't need to hold your hand 

To cherish you always 

Within my womb, we shared our hearts. 

You touched my soul. 

You sweetened my spirit. 

You gave me memories I'll always hold dear. 

Yes my heart aches since you departed so soon. 

But a mother's love does not end with death. 

For you are my child. 

Forever my love is yours. 

Dad's 1st Heavenly Birthday!

Dad,

 

I can't believe its been 53 days since you've been gone. Words cannot express how deeply I miss you, and the turmoil my heart feels has been unbearable. As much as I miss you, I am thankful that you are no longer in pain. You have a new heavenly body and you are with our Lord Jesus. I love trying to picture you running into the arms of Jesus, and hearing Him say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant! Today you will be with Me in paradise!"

 

Today, will be the first of many...Today, you celebrate your first heavenly birthdays with Jesus in Heaven. I can only imagine what a glorious celebration that will be! I imagine baby Joshua running into your arms, singing "Happy Birthday Lolo!" Then he would tell you that next month, it will be his turn to celebrate his 6th Heavenly Birthday and how excited he is that you will be there! It's these happy thoughts that run inside my mind, that helps me get through each day without you both by my side. Today you would have celebrated your 67th birthday. How I wish we could be together again, so I can tell you how much I love you and how thankful I am to have you as my dad! I guess for now, I must send my love and birthday hugs and kisses to you in heaven.

 

The next few months will be rough for all of us, as we will be experiencing our first Thanksgiving and Christmas without you...without your jokes, without your laughs, and without your hugs. It just won’t be the same without you by our side. 

 

Happy 67th Birthday and Happy 1st Heavenly Birthday Dad!

 

I miss you more than words can ever express, and I can’t wait until we see each other again. I love you Dad!

*P.S. The day started out gloomy and rainy. I guess it was God's way of reminding me that life isn't about waiting for storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain. Thanks for asking God to let the sun come out so we can visit your grave to decorate for your birthday! I hope you and Joshua had fun chasing after the balloons we sent you! 

 

♥I love you♥

Birthday blues...

Dear Dad,

Tonight as I prepare to lay down and go to sleep, thoughts of you are running through my mind…Tomorrow, will be the first birthday I will experience without you here by my side. I am not certain how the day will go without seeing your smiling face, or hearing your voice singing “Happy birthday!"

Had I known that this would be our last year I would have you here with me to celebrate, I would have done all I could have to cherish every moment we had. I would have told you how much I love you, and how blessed I was to have you as my father...But we cannot know what tomorrow will bring.

I know you are finally at peace and living without pain, and with our Lord in heaven, which is a blessing I am truly very grateful for. So when I awake tomorrow, I will do so with the memory of the sound of your voice singing “happy birthday” running though my mind….I will close my eyes to remember your warm embrace and I will know that you are here with me in spirit as I celebrate the day of my birth….

I love you and I miss you dearly Dad!

All my love always,
Anna-Lizza

Happy 9th Birthday to my Daughter BRIANNA

I am so grateful and thankful that I have you as a daughter. No matter how many birthdays may come and go, you'll always be my little girl. With each passing year, you grow sweeter and more beautiful than ever. I feel so blessed that God gave me a daughter like you and I am so very proud to have you as my daughter.

Thank you for being a wonderful daughter, and for giving me so many reasons to smile, Thanks for our on-the-go fun times together, and times we just talk and relax for a while. Thank you for the many hugs and kisses you give me everyday, and for always letting me know that you appreciate me...Most of all, thank you for showing me all through the years, that I'm the luckiest mommy there ever could be.

Happy 9th Birthday to my pride and joy.

Heavenly Celebration

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

I know you’re wondering how I’ll celebrate my 3rd birthday in heaven. I know you’re missing me most today. I feel your essence near.

God planned a special day for me. He told me with a wink. He’d ordered me a special cake (It’s Angel food, I think)

I’m getting lots of hugs from God. He’s really good at that...And every time that I walk by, He gives my head a pat.

Heaven will be filled with balloons or me. They float up through the clouds...And we have lots of clowns up here. That make us laugh out loud.

There is a birthday carousel, jeweled horses ride the wind with music playing oh so sweet…the magic never ends

I’ve made so many friends, you see. We laugh and play and sing. We ride our bikes and play jump rope...and sleep in Angel’s wings.

We’ll have our cake and ice cream, and open gifts, surprise! But we don’t blow out our candles here...Instead, they light the skies.

My Daughter's Birthday

Our little girl celebrated her 8th birthday today. It seem like only yesterday, when I first held her in my arms and thinking what a wonderful blessing she is. Each passing day, each passing year, we watch her grow and play. She is growing up so fast, and I just want it to last. I want to enjoy every little second with her and cherish all the memories we make together. Her father and I hope that she knows how much we love her. Through every smile and every tear, and every cry that brings fear, we will be with her always.

On this day, eight years ago, you were born. It was the most glorious day of my life...knowing you has changed me. Brianna, you are our fairy tale ending come true. We pray that God will continue to bless your life and keep you safe always. Most of all, we pray that you will walk with us In step...as we go, so that we can guide you and be there for you always. Daddy and I love you very much. Happy 8th Birthday!

Joshua's 2nd Birthday

On this day, two years ago, my son, Joshua Matthew was born sleeping and in the arms of God. Today, as we celebrate Joshua's short life, I begin to feel the longing for the son I gave birth to, exactly two years ago and a desire to maybe try and have another child that we hope to bring into our family and our hearts in the near future. Today, tears of joy and sadness has overwhelmed me, and has reminded me how deeply I still miss Joshua. Even though I do not cry desperate tears very often these days, deep down I know how much Joshua's absence is felt each day. Sometimes I am worried that the absence of tears for my son might mean that I do not miss him as much as I used to. But crying for my son last night and today on his birthday assured me that I do miss my little baby boy as much as I ever have. I am thankful to have cried those tears because they were for Joshua pure and true.

Today, in the calm of the storm, during moments of deep peace, I can reflect back upon my journey and feel proud of myself for having not only survived but actually lived all those painful and joyous moments. I am not drifting aimlessly through life, although sometimes I may feel like a forgotten castaway stuck in mud. I have felt nearly all the range of emotions a human can know, both pleasant and unpleasant. I know the searing heat of grief, the wild fury of anger and the numbing gray of depression. I have been up and down, turned inside out. I have felt the emotions of life and lived to remember them.

With that, all that there is left for me to say is:

"Happy 2nd Heavenly Birthday baby Joshua. I can't believe that it's been 2 years already. While you are not here for me to kiss, to touch, to hug, to hold, you are present in our lives in so many ways.

In the quite moments of life, I often feel your presence around me and hear you whisper sweet words in my ears. Baby, I miss you so much and I love you more than ever. While my arms still ache to hold you and my ears strain to hear your sweet voice, I am comforted in knowing that you are safely home with Jesus.

I carry you in my heart each day and know that when I am called home, I will be with you again, I can only imagine the glorious celebration you are having in heaven. We love you so very much Joshua! Your presence in our lives, though brief, was and is a precious gift that we will cherish forever."

I love you forever and always Joshua!

Joshua's 1st Heavenly Birthday

1 year ago today, my life changed. 1 year ago at 12:28 in the morning on November 15, 2007, Joshua was born sleeping. It was during these early hours last year that the labor pains were incredibly immense and painful. I knew that at that moment, my Joshua was alive and well, waiting to make his entry into our world. At this time last year, our lives were full of hope, waiting for a miracle to come our way.

These are painful memories, and yet I have allowed myself to replay them often in my mind, in my sleep. Those days are so dark, so empty, full of pain, sorrow and grief...and yet those are memories of Joshua's short life. He lived inside me for 7 months, bringing so much joy, happiness, and hope to our hearts.

Today feels as if a thousand years have passed since Joshua's birth and death. A big part of me wants to hold onto the year, the first, even though they can be so painful. But time does not stop for grief, life moves on, and so must I.

Joshua is now celebrating his 1st birthday in heaven. I can only image how glorious his 1st heavenly birthday is. My heart is filled with so much love, because I know that Joshua lives in our hearts, through the sharing of stories about him. It is this peace and love that I will hold onto today. Joshua's spirit offers me peace and love, and it is his love that will help me and guide me on this journey of grief.

Today, we will visit Joshua like we always do, but this time will be different. Today, we will honor our son on his 1st birthday.

Happy 1st birthday Joshua! Mommy, Daddy, Brianna, and Joseph loves you and misses you everyday!

"A Special Birthday"

Please God, make them remember that
Today is a special birthday.
Make them understand that.
The memories don't go away.
Bless them with ears to hear and hearts that care.
Enable them to listen while I share.
Shelter them that they may never know my pain.
Help them to help me know that my child's life was not in vain.
Help them to remember Lord, that I wish
That my child was here
So we could still celebrate.
To understand that I still
Feel the nearness of my child.
To see beyond my smile and the
Words. "I'm okay."
Please God, just let one remember today,
Is a special birthday!

(Author Unknown)