7 long months have past since God called my dad home. I never really got a chance to say good bye to my Father or tell him how much I love him, and what he ment to me. Last night I had a dream of him, and in my dream I knew it was my chance to let him know.
In my dream, I was in a crowded room full of people, and as I was about to leave, I glanced over to my right and saw my dad sitting. He looked at me and smiled. I wave and smile back, but didn't approach him at first. A few minutes later, something inside me told me to go to my dad. It was such an intense feeling, one that I can't really describe, nor ignore!
I ran to my dad and wrapped my arms around him, holding him tight. I told him every thing that was in my heart, and repeated several times, "Dad, I love you! Please don't leave until I get back!" He held me and never said a word...he just had this peaceful look on his face, smiling back at me. The warmth of his embrace felt so good, and I felt so safe and secure around it. It was at that very moment, I knew I had to finally let go of him, even though I didn't want to. I gave my dad one last look and kiss and told him once again that I loved him. He smiled again at me, but this time I heard the sound of his deep voice saying, "I know Anna, I love you too!" As I slowly walked away from him, something inside me knew that that was the last time I would see him, hold him, and hear his voice. With each step I took, I kept looking back at him to make sure he was still there...until finally he was gone!
I woke up at first feeling well rested and thinking "Finally, I was able to get that much needed sleep!" For the past few weeks, I was having such a hard time sleeping, and last night was the first good night sleep I had. It wasn't until the kids and hubby left for school and work, that I remembered my dream...and that's when tears began to fall...tears of happiness that I saw my dad again, and tears if sadness, because I knew it was good-bye for now.
Dad, I love you and miss you immensely! I can't wait until I can be with you and Joshua again. See you in my dreams for now!
"This Is My Now: Live-Laugh-Love", has become the place where I often share some of my most intimate thoughts. A place where memories and adventures are shared and a place where smiles of laughter and tears of pain often fall as I write...yet healing happens with every drop. It is through the eyes of my children, and the short life of a baby boy, born sleeping in the arms of God, that I have learned so much about our Creator and His love for us. May all who visit and read about how He continues to be my source of strength, be drawn closer to God through our stories. I am thankful that even for just a brief moment, I was blessedto hold in my arms a little angel from Heaven.
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