Lead Me...

This song is dedicated to my husband Jose...You are indispensable part of my life. I love you more than words can ever say.

"Lead Me"

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone"

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're in independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone"

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Life's Roadblocks

The feeling of uncertainty and being lost and alone is very scary. How does one know which is the right path to take? As I look for answers, I am reminded that life is full of uncertainties and challenges. If we decide to journey on our own, then we are sure to get lost along the way...but if we ask God for guidance, He will show us the way.
It's easy to think that even if we've been down the same road before, we can find our way...but sometimes even if the road looks familiar, we can still get lost and it can be filled with unexpected roadblocks. It's what we do when hit these roadblocks that will determine if we can get back on the right road.

I've recently come to a roadblock in my life...and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to find my way back. I try going around it, but it leaves me right back to where I started from. I try going on another road, hoping it will lead me back to the right path, but I encounter the same roadblocks and it stops me dead on my tracks. I try to ignore it, hoping that if I wait long enough, it will resolve itself on its on, and then I can be on my merry way...but I am only left alone and stuck with no where to go.

I've been so stubborn, not wanting to ask for directions...thinking I can find the way on my own. I guess it's only after reaching so many dead ends that I finally realize how much I need guidance. I need guidance from someone who knows where the road leads, what roadblocks I will encounter along the way, and how to overcome them...that someone is God. He knows the plan He has for me. I just have to learn to listen and ask Him to be with me and guide me, so that I don't get lost and weary on the way.

God’s Word and wisdom give us the keys to living a blessed, successful, and prosperous life...but it also warns us about some of the dangers and obstacles that we will encounter along the way. Just like the warnings of a road sign: Sharp curve ahead!; Rocks falling!; Slippery when wet!; Bumpy road!; If we pay attention to the warning signs, we can avoid an accident… or even death. I must remind myself that God posts these road signs along the way...but it's up to me to pay attention them.

As I learn to slowly find my way back to the right road God intends me to be in, I pray:

Lord, I pray that You will be my guide. Help me to find way back. Help me to overcome any trials that life may bring my way. Only You know the way. Guide me so that I may never find myself alone in a place filled with darkness and uncertainty. You are my God...and it is through You that I will know I will find the way. Thank You for always being faithful and for reminding me that You are the way, the truth, and the light. I surrender it all to you.

The Bible is God’s direction book and map for our lives. Here are some verses that specifically deals with following God’s direction.

Psalm 119:

Verse 105 - Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light for my path. God’s Word will give us light when the decision seeks unclear.

Verse 26 - I told you my plans, and you answered. Now teach me your principles. We may tell God our plans, but He wants us to listen to His principles

Verse 32 - I will run to follow your commands.

Verse 35 - Make me walk along the path of your commands, for that is where my happiness is found. We are happiest when we follow God’s commands.

Verse 45 - I will walk in freedom, for I have devoted myself to your commandments. Living by God’s commands brings freedom.

Verse 60 - I will hurry, without lingering, to obey your commands. We should not hesitate to follow God’s commands.

Verse 101 - I have refused to walk on any path of evil, that I may remain obedient to your word. We should refuse to walk any direction other than where God’s Word points.

Verse 133 - Guide my steps by your word, so I will not be overcome by any evil. God’s Word will guide our steps if we listen to and obey it.

Letters to God...

"You are a letter...written not with pen and ink, but with the Spirit of the living God."
~ 2 Corinthians 3:3 NIV
They say that our lives are often shaped by the stories we hear. Whether these stories we are true or not, they have the potential to reach deep down inside us and stir our emotions, provoke our thinking, and influence the course of our lives.

I recently finished watching a faith-based movie called “Letters to God." The movie is about a young boy fighting cancer. Despite his illness, he finds strength and hope by writing letters to God. It is through this little boy's letters that brings and inspire hope and change in his family, his friends and the entire community.

It is an amazing story...so amazing that it reminds me of the time when I lost my son, Joshua. It was a dark time for me. I felt so lost, alone, and betrayed by my God. Then I started writing letters to God...Letters to tell Him how angry I was that He took my son away. Slowly these letters to God became letters asking Him for guidance. Letters asking Him to take away my pain and anger...and then letters asking Him to lead me back to Him. He is such a loving God...despite my anger and pain, He took all those away and began healing my broken heart. He held me in His arms and I felt His presence and I knew that my son was safe in His arms.

You can read these letters by visiting Joshua's Memorial site. Click here: "My Mommy's Prayers."

I know that in the midst of any problems I may be battling, I must always remember to seek God's help, and to thank Him for working in my life. I know that I have a long road ahead of me, but with His help and guidance, He is slowly molding me to be the person Jesus intended me to be.

I pray that you too will remember to trust and seek God. We may not always know why things happen in our lives, but Paul tells us: "God is faithful, and He will not let you be tested beyond your strength but with your testing He will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it" (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Thankfulness

Our thoughts create our reality -- where we put our focus, is the direction we tend to go.
~Peter McWilliams~

I am thankful for so many blessings in my life...my husband Jose, my children, Brianna and Joseph, family and friends, and our little angel in heaven, Joshua. I am also thankful for God's faithfulness and unconditional love. Despite any hardships and pain that comes my way, I can always find comfort and strength in knowing that He is with me every step of the way, and that I will always have my family in my life.


I recently celebrated my 35th birthday...Despite being in pain (due to a recent hand surgery I had), I found being with my family comforting. The laughter in the room of silly stories we were sharing, made me forget for a moment the throbbing in my hands. The sounds of children playing and laughing made every discomfort bearable.

It is during these blissful moments that I remember just how thankful I am that I have been blessed with good friends and a loving family.

What's Happening?

What's happening with us you asked? A lot! Particularly since it has been well over a three month since I last posted (yikes!)

Summer break has ended and the kids are back to school. Time sure flies...before we know it, it will be time to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Well, let see, a little update...thanks to my hubby, the kids and I took a three week vacation to the Philippines during their summer break, so we can spend some time with my parents, who, after years of hard work, finally retired last December 2010. They decided to spend their retirement years back in the Philippines, and who can blame them...a dollar goes a long way there. Our time there was spent mostly visiting other family members, shopping, and of course, more shopping. My parents also took us to a beautiful water park resort, Villa Alfredo, located in the the Province of Pampanga. My dad is good friend of the owner, so as you can imagine, we were treated like royalty upon our arrival. Despite the rain, the kids still had a blast swimming.


On another exciting note...we just celebrated my Nanay (grandmother) Jessie's 90th Birthday! Our family decided to throw her a surprise party, and boy, was she surprised. She was so touched to see all of us gathered together just for her, that tears of joy flowed from her eyes. It was truly a blessing to be able to spend and celebrate her birthday. Happy 90th Birthday Nanay! We love you very much.

Oh by the way, did I also mention that I am scheduled to have another hand surgery this month? It will probably be a while before I can post again.

So that's the latest on what's happening in a nutshell! It's been a busy summer and we are looking forward to some really exciting things that are coming up through the rest of 2011! Until then, take care and God bless.

Heal The Wound, But Leave The Scar

I know that I cannot rewrite history or change the past, but I can let God redeem it. We've all made mistakes and have been ashamed of our past failures.

My years of struggling with losing my son Joshua was and is still painful. The pain and wound of losing him felt like gaping emotional wounds. Today, the wound doesn't hurt as much, but there are times when the pain re-emerges, and I feel the wound opening up again. I have made peace with the way my life has worked out. However, I still bear scars from that experience, and I would not want to lose those scars, even if it were possible to do so. Those scars are a reminder of where I have been, and they are proof to others that I survived that experience. If I were to lose the scars, then I would lose the ability to encourage other people who are in the same painful place that I once was.

I am so grateful that the wounds are healed, but I am also grateful that I have the scars to remind myself of how God has healed me, and it is through God’s mercy that I have been forgiven for all the wrongs I have done in the past. Lord, please...Take the pieces of this heart and Heal the wound but leave the scar as a reminder of who I was, who I am, and who You want me to be.

"Heal The Wound"
by Point of Grace"

I used to wish that I could rewrite history
I used to dream that each mistake could be erased
Then I could just pretend
I never knew the me back then

I used to pray that You would take this shame away
Hide all the evidence of who I've been
But it's the memory of
The place You brought me from
That keeps me on my knees
And even though I'm free

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

I have not lived a life that boasts of anything
I don't take pride in what I bring
But I'll build an altar with
The rubble that You've found me in
And every stone will sing
Of what You can redeem

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

Don't let me forget
Everything You've done for me
Don't let me forget
The beauty in the suffering

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

Paradise Bound

Well, we did it! We finally took a real family vacation together. Destination...Paradise! For my hubby's 40th birthday, we decided to go to Hawaii. The kids were extremely excited and had so much fun! It was truly a memorable experience for all of us. We each had our favorite moments from all the adventures we had.

Where do I even begin? Let's see, there was definitely lots of swimming involved, snorkeling, boat ride, submarine ride, train ride around the pineapple plantation, and even some adventures with giant teddy bears!
One of our favorite adventures would have to be our visit to the Polynesian Center, where we were able to visit 7 different villages, as well as watch some great hula and fire dancing. The "Ha: Breath of Life" was spectacular.


Joseph said that his favorite was the submarine ride, where we went down 107 feet under the ocean to watch some sea turtles, sting rays, and tropical fish swim. Brianna's favorite was swimming at the beach and snorkeling. She she was able to get up close to see the different sea creatures swimming by. She's a natural sea baby :) There was so many fun activities that we did, and so many memories we made. We had a blast!


The beautiful island of Oahu was truly breathtaking. Every morning we were lucky enough to wake up and see the blue waters of the ocean from our lanai. We even ventured out, and drove around the island, where we found a beautiful beachfront park, with a view of another nearby island called "China Man's Hat." Here's a picture of me and hubby at Kualoa Park, in Laie.

We know this is just one of many travel adventures we will be taking together as a family, so stay tuned for more posts about upcoming future travel adventures. Until then, ALOHA!

Here Comes the Rain Again...

♪♫•*¨*•.¸Here comes the rain again...falling on my head like a memory. Falling on my head like a new emotion♪♫•*¨*•.¸

The always reminds me that "...Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain." Often times when the rain begins to fall, it brings a surge of emotions and memories my way. Memories of my wedding day when the rain kept falling and my mom had to use a big garden umbrella to shield me from getting wet. While everyone said that the rain was a blessing...a sign that God is pouring down his blessings on our marriage, all I can remember saying was, "Thank you Lord for pouring down your blessings on this marriage. Now please, make the rain stop, so I don't get wet!" From our house, all the way to the church, the rain kept falling. It was only after the church ceremony was done, when the rain subsided, and everything was wiped clean.

With this memory, you would think that I would associate the rain with happy memories...but sadly, the rain only makes me feel sad. I have heard of people suffering from S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Maybe that's what I have. I am self diagnosing my emotions (lol). My husband just laughs (not in a mean way of course), whenever the rain comes and I tell him I have S.A.D.

Today marks the first day of spring, and sure enough here comes the rain. While I try to remember that the rain washes away all things, and makes things clean again, it often makes me want to just stay in bed and sulk. For some reason, when I hear the pitter-patter of the raindrops falling from the sky, I often imagine going out in the rain and just crying my eyes out...maybe because the rain will wash away my tears. I have to remind myself that it can't rain forever and that if I want the rainbow to come out, I've got to put up with the rain.

Happy 9th Birthday to my Daughter BRIANNA

I am so grateful and thankful that I have you as a daughter. No matter how many birthdays may come and go, you'll always be my little girl. With each passing year, you grow sweeter and more beautiful than ever. I feel so blessed that God gave me a daughter like you and I am so very proud to have you as my daughter.

Thank you for being a wonderful daughter, and for giving me so many reasons to smile, Thanks for our on-the-go fun times together, and times we just talk and relax for a while. Thank you for the many hugs and kisses you give me everyday, and for always letting me know that you appreciate me...Most of all, thank you for showing me all through the years, that I'm the luckiest mommy there ever could be.

Happy 9th Birthday to my pride and joy.

Life's Uncertainty

Many times as we travel this road of life, we often face uncertainties, oppositions, and even doubts. Whatever the uncertainty, it usually brings up feelings of being out of control, fear, anxiety, worry, self-doubt, depression, and sometimes can even feel totally overwhelming. It's human nature for us to worry when we are faced with the unknown. What's important is how we respond and cope with these uncertainties. We can get stuck in fear of the uncertainty of life, and continue to waste what precious time we have on focusing our thoughts on the negative things that might happen in our lives, or trust that God will never give us more that we can bear. We often forget that worrying is the opposite of trust.

In 2 Corinthians 9:8, we are reminded that, "...God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." God is able to make all things right, no matter how hopeless a situation may be.

I often remind myself to trust and ask God to guide me, when life's uncertainties comes my way. I remind myself to put my trust in Him no matter what the circumstances, and to remember that courage and strength will come from God. So, as I deal with this uncertainty that has come my way, I know God wants me to approach these uncertainties with strength and courage, not with fear! I know that with Him, I can move ahead with confidence and determination, and that He will provide and will pour out His boundless blessings upon me.

"Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith." It is so wonderful that we have the Biblical promise that God will provide all of our needs according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:19).

Remember, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God" (Philippians 4:6). I do not want to lie awake at night, unable to sleep because of my worries and distress, I know God is waiting...I surrender my prayers and petitions, so that He can be God and I can get some sleep!

New Year's Prayer

New Year's Resolutions...What’s yours? We all make them, right? I know I have, and it’s usually the same thing year after year. We want to be thinner, eat healthier, exercise more, spend less, save more, be a better wife and mother, and the list goes on. Tonight, I have spent some time reflecting on my life this past year and what I hope for the New Year. I can truly say that my family and I have been immensely blessed in 2010. We have had our struggles but God has brought us through each and every one of them.

These past few months, I have spent a lot of time praying for God to draw me nearer to Him. In the past several months I have had a deeper hunger and thirst for His Word and His presence. This New Year, it is my hope that I can use more of my time to glorify Him even more, because I really do want to give my whole life to Him, not in part, but the whole thing. My intention this year is to live with such intentionality that He can be seen in and through me. I pray that He will continue to give me an open heart so that I can go wherever He leads me, even when it doesn’t make any sense to me. "LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered-how fleeting my life is. Psalm 39:4

Going forward, I want to live my life focused more on God. I want my time here to reflect Him. I want my kids to see how amazing life is when He is given the trust and honor He so fully deserves. I want them to know the joy of giving to others unselfishly. I want them to know that God will always be there for them, and that He will provide for their needs.

I have a feeling that 2011 is going to hold some big things for our family. I am sure it will be a year of ups and downs, highs and lows, and grief and joys. But not matter what comes our way, I know He will be there every step of the way to guide us. I continue to pray that we are able to love even more, give even more, and seek Him in all we do.

I don't know if we will be thinner or if we will exercise more, (we’ll certainly try), but I know we are here and we are feeling a stirring in our hearts. He is calling and we are wrapping our minds around what it is He is asking and we continue to pray for His guidance. He isn't done with us yet.

May 2011 be a blessed year for all of us.