When someone you love dies there is no fixing that immense grief we experience. Someday, I hope I will be able to live with the grief, instead of living in the grief.
I miss my son and my dad every day...for the rest of my life, I will miss them, until I see their faces and hear their sweet voice in Heaven. For the rest of my life, I will miss them, until I can wrap my arms around them and stand in their presence in eternal rest and say, "I missed you both so much!"
I've learned to just say "thank you," when I hear people try to comfort me with words, thinking it will ease my pain. Saying things like "They are in a better place"; "He's not suffering anymore"; "Life goes on"; "Now you have your own angel";"Time heals all wounds!" When I hear these words, it simply diminishes my grief. I know that is not their intent...it's simply a way to not only try and make me feel better, but to also make that person feel better as well.
In my previous post entitled "My Never Ending Grief," I write about how the minute you think you’re over something, the emotions starts all over again...just like the waves in the ocean, there will be days when it will manifest itself as calm and at other times it’s stormy. Like a powerful wave, grief washes over me and knocks me off my feet, takes my breath away and make me feel like I am drowning. This is when I have to let the waves wash over me, because I know it will eventually recede and I will again be able to regain my footing.
The pain I feel of losing my dad, brought back all the painful memories I had of not being able to hold my son Joshua. To this day, it still takes my breath away...for this is the nature of grief.
Through this journey, I've learned that finding new joy and happiness, will not cause me to stop loving and grieving for my dad and son. The Bible says that there are three things in life that last forever...faith, hope, and love, and the greatest of these is love. Love goes on forever.The same is true of faith and hope. By choosing to live in these three, helps us to make sense of the chaos we call life...It makes even the grief we experience just a little bit bearable!
"A bend on the road is not the end of the road, unless you fail to make a turn!"
For now, my journey continues...I will not let a bend on the road stop me from loving life, and having faith and hope that one day, I will be with the Lord, with my dad, and with my son in Heaven.
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